++Practically every nerdy guy, and a lot of nerdy girls too, has awaited Dragonball’s final jump to the big screen (not counting the Korean one made in the 80s. Check it out on YouTube for a laugh). After years, countless video games, endless filler sagas, enough hair to drown an LA barbershop and a seven month release date push-back, I shelled out $20 (ten on Friday, ten more on Saturday) for the only movie I’ve ever full-on geeked out over.
++Before I continue, know that certain changes were made. It helps the point if I get it out of the way now:
 Goku is 18-years-old, in high school. He’s bullied relentlessly for being an outsider, and doesn’t fight back because his Grandpa Gohan made him promise not to fight.
 Chi Chi is Goku’s classmate. He’s got the typical crush on her, with all the hilarious crushy stuff included (you’ll DIE laughing at the classroom scene). She’s rich, but her father, the Ox King, is absent from the movie. Therefore, so is how he and she got so rich in the first place.
 Bulma searches for the Dragonballs for two reasons: (a) She wants to use their power as an energy source to get rich, and (b) because Mai the ninja broke into the Capsule Corp. and stole the only one the Briefs family had.
 Mai’s a shape shifting assassin who works for Piccolo, not Emperor Pilaf. Also significantly hotter than her anime/manga counterpart.
 Piccolo wears armor. Deal with it.
 Also, his Fu Lum assassins spawn from genetic cloning using his blood, instead of coming directly from Piccolo.
 Yamcha isn’t afraid of women and wants to help find the Dragonballs so he can get a share of Bulma’s profits. No Puar in the movie.
 No Krillin, Tien, Chaotzu or Oolong either.
 Piccolo kills Grandpa Gohan while searching for the Dragonballs.
 Goku becomes the Oozaru during the “Blood Moon Eclipse,” which occurs every 2,000 years, instead of during a full moon. No tail either.
 The legend of the Demon Lord Piccolo at the beginning of the movie says that he had assistance from a demon called “Oozaru.” This puts Saiyans on Earth 2,000 years before Goku, raising huge questions about this universe’s continuity, and the relationship between Namekians and Saiyans alike.
 Muten Roshi’s house is at the center of a huge crater in the middle of Paozu City, instead of a small island off in the distance somewhere.
 Goku and Bulma meet Roshi while breaking into his house to find a Dragonball.
 Goku trains with Roshi as they and Bulma search for the remaining Dragonballs.
 Goku’s a white guy. I feel this is worth mentioning, because despite the fact that he’s an alien, people still do a double-take-to-facepalm when they learn the actor (Justin Chatwin) isn’t Asian. Nobody ever complains about Bulma not being Asian though, and I’m not sure why…
++Quite the laundry list, no? For reasons like those above, many have already bashed and smashed the movie and promised no to see it. I’ve warned you not to discourage you from seeing it, but to prepare you. I followed this movie’s production for over a year, so the changes were no shock, and I was able to sit back and enjoy the movie’s excelling points. With the changes in mind, I go down on bended knee to ask you: Suspend your disbelief. The sooner you come to terms with the fact that all your hissing and moaning will change nothing about the movie and all you can do is sit back and try to enjoy the ride, the sooner you can give a freaking Dragonball movie the chance it deserves. Akira Toriyama himself commented that the movie would be the prime example of an alternate universe, so use that if you must. Just don’t damn the movie without a trial.
++Now then, for the critique:
++The prime concern I had with the movie was its length. Almost all the other problems with the movie seem to stem from its 82-minute running time. It felt tight and efficient, to too much of an extreme.
++Subtlety in character development, personality,  and relationships get left to the curb. You get an immediate sense of who everyone is, but only because they throw it at you from the start like a brick. For almost killing the man she suspected of stealing her “Promethium Orb,” Bulma has no problem telling Goku what she plans to do with the Dragonballs, to name one example.
++Bulma and Yamcha’s romance gets tossed in for almost five minutes accumulatively and is never spoken of again in the meantime.
++Goku’s relationship with Chi Chi is forced in. It feels like James Wong (the director) and the screenwriter tried too hard to make Goku a relatable, likeable teenager who gets the girl in the end. Romance and Dragonball mix like Clark Kent and contact lenses. Period. If they’d introduced Goku’s crush and Chi Chi’s feelings, but left the actual romantic heat-up to the sequel, not only would Wong be staying true to the source material (true fans know why), but he could’ve spent more time on areas that suffered from loss of time.
++Like the slightly anticlimactic final fight between Goku and Piccolo. At only a few minutes long, the battle for the fate of the world drew much more from the Z Universe than the story in the movie. While the special effects dazzled with their realism and style, they held the majority of the fight, with very little physical combat. I expected a little more from the boys who choreographed the “Matrix” trilogy, especially with the much more physical battles that proceeded Goku vs. Piccolo within the movie.
++Though the movie isn’t without it’s successes. Of obvious note are the special effects. Energy attacks make the jump from solid rays of neon light to rippling and moving in the wind, like real energy. The Oozaru looks impressive too, if a little short.
++Slow motion enhanced fight scenes (although in certain spots it was slightly misplaced), adding that extra little bit of fighting-anime-dramatic goodness. The reverse also worked well, if not better than the slow motion. Sped-up punches were a blast from the past. If only they were featured more often in the movie…
++For all the complaints about the cast, for the most part they played and looked the parts well. I could go on forever about how it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know that in a live-action movie, the characters have to look… ah, what’s the word… realistic, but I’m not. If you can think of another 18-20-year-old to play 18-year-old Goku let me know, but in the meantime Justin Chatwin looked pretty cool in the Gi and fully-spiked hair. Also worth mentioning: Chatwin roaring the Kamehameha at the climax of the final fight, surrounded by a hurricane of blue Ki was truly, undeniably awesome. He did it justice.
++The only weird things I noticed about the casting were Chow Yun-Fat’s Muten Roshi and Joon Park’s Yamcha. Yamcha was way too animated and was without a doubt the most two-dimensional character of them all. Yun-Fat’s Roshi looked way younger than Grandpa Gohan, even though Roshi trained him when he was a child. Yun-Fat was eccentric and goofy with a hint of perverted, tying the character into an interesting, entertaining package. The youthful look was off-putting.
++The dialogue is straight Dragonball. Except for a few slip-ups and character development issues, it’s quick and well done, with enough cheesy lines and pseudo-deep revelations to satisfy any fan of the 20-something-year-old series (“In order to be one with myself I must be two.” -Goku upon learning that he’s the Oozaru and finally understanding his Grandpa’s advice). The chant to bring forth Shen Long (Shenron) at the end of the movie is pure goober, and pure Dragonball.
++For all its faults and changes to the plot, most of the fun comes from how flat-out fun the movie is. Whether you’re enjoying the ride or cracking jokes at the thing, Dragonball Evolution is a romp well worth the $10. If you’re ready to try and enjoy it, that is.
++I give this Dragonball three stars out of seven, partly because it’s got a long way to go before it meets this fan’s high standards, partly because I’m a geek and actually liked the movie, and partly because the sheer awesomeness of Dragonball on the big screen is too massive to ignore. (I refuse to make any “It’s over 9,000” jokes. I have dignity.)
++Plus, if this movie doesn’t do it for you, or if you’re hungry for more like me, check this out: Fox Studios has already announced that they’ve begun drafting and production on a sequel that promises to be much closer to the original story. Can you say Tenka’ichi Budokai?